TWO SCOTTSMEN WALK INTO DURBAR SQUARE
Two Scottsmen walk into Durbar square, their short cropped greying hair trickling with sweat as they amble through the busy sunlit craft market. Both of them are enormous guys, standing out like Hagrid amongst the throngs of brightly and smartly dressed Nepalese artisans. The most massive of the two has a capacious beer gut which erupts from his tight black long sleeved lycra top and looms ominously over his precariously tied khaki kilt. His hairy badge bedecked sporran swings limply between his legs below the mound of his stomach like the tail of an old Himalayan yak. The kilt of the other Scott also hangs bedraggled below his burgeoning belly, the belt clinging desperately to the top of his buttocks in a last ditch bid to protect his decency in such a public space.
I have to respect them for taking pride in their national dress. However, I can not help thinking just how ridiculous they look lumbering around the ancient heart of Kathmandu city in their funny skirts, tight shirts and cheap Nepali hiking boots.
Suddenly, five ravishingly gorgeous young Nepali women sweep out of the crowd like a flock of parrots and begin circling the two men, chatting excitedly to one another – giggling joyfully all the while.
Finally, they approach the two strangers timidly and with great dark soulful pleading eyes, beg to have their photographs taken together. Passers by are roped in, hair and clothes are checked (for the girl’s part anyway) and one of the women produces a slick modern smart phone for the photo shoot. They ensure that every conceivable angle is captured, with the girls cuddled together in a happy huddle between the two towering lads.
Then with a thousand thank yous, much folding of hands and beaming of heartfelt, heart-warming smiles, they dart off into the crowd, consumed in a buzz of rapturously delightful energy.
The two men shuffle back into the market, unabashed, clearly accustomed to pleasing the populace wherever they should happen to go.
I wonder if you can buy kilts in Kathmandu?
